


Keep In Touch

by angelofgrief



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mind Meld
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-08
Updated: 2013-12-08
Packaged: 2018-01-03 05:03:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1066079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelofgrief/pseuds/angelofgrief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonard knows that Spock would never hurt him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keep In Touch

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place after the events of Mirror, Mirror. Established relationship (more or less).
> 
> Spur of the moment, really. Anyway, yes, Spock and Leonard are in a relationship but they are just starting it, you know?

Leonard sighed as he slipped back into his quarters.

After the events of today, involving alternate universes with a side dish of their alternate selves and a bunch of bullshit he didn't even want to think about, he felt his entire body drain. Of course, he hid that fact very well away from others, eager to slip in his role as the chief medical officer of the right USS Enterprise.

He took his time across his room, taking off his blue shirt and tossing it in his laundry hamper. He sat on the edge of his bed, rubbed his face before lazily taking of his shoes and placing it somewhere near the corner of the room. He was ready to give up completely and fall asleep right then and there.

That is, until he heard someone knocking on his doors.

“Come in,”

The doors slid open and Spock came through, looking proper as always. Leonard gave a lazy smile and tried to look as not tired as possible. Which was hard enough at it is.

Their relationship was... an interesting one. Sometimes, he would forget that Spock and him were something instead of co-workers. Usually, on those days, Spock would do something that would flare up this feeling of affection inside of him. Leonard doesn't know about how Spock feels— he was so adamant that Vulcans can't comprehend emotions. So he assumes that Spock visits him because it's work-related.

Not because he _cares_ , really.

“Well, Mr. Spock. What bring you to these neck of the woods?”

“I do not understand. There are no signs of trees in your quarters, Doctor.”

Leonard sighs irritably, some of his usual flare coming back. “Never mind, dammit.”

He watches Spock come closer until he's standing—hovering, dammit— in front of him. Leonard glares about automatically; old habits are hard to break really. He's taken aback, however, at what comes after next.

“Are you well?”

It takes him a while to answer and Leonard feels rude by outright saying 'what' like he didn't hear what Spock had just said. He wants to ask the person in front of him who he was and what he did to the real Spock before he chokes on his words. Ironic, it would've been. Very. Also, it would've been a bit too much. A bad feeling settles into his stomach so he settles on waving him off.

“I'm fine, jeez.”

Spock raises his eyebrows and Leonard swears he's getting angrier by the second. Or maybe Spock's just getting more annoying. Or both. Who knows, really.

“What?”

It comes out more harshly than he had anticipated but he doesn't care at this point. And then Spock has the audacity to look at him like... _that_. In this moment, Leonard is reminded that Spock is half-human. Because right now, he is looking at him with one of the most human pair of eyes he's ever seen. And then, he's reminded that he cares about Spock just by those eyes.

Big, brown eyes that seem to pierce through him sometimes.

Illogical or logical, he'll never know. The thing is, though, his eyes weren't looking at him like they were pitying him. They weren't sympathetic. They were just... open. Leonard feels his anger subsiding but he struggles to keep a hold on it. Being angry at him is the only thing normal as of right now. He lets a sigh out as his head falls into his hands. The anger is gone.

Leonard feels the bed dip besides him but doesn't look. They pass the time in silence, with Leonard sitting silently with his hands covering his face and Spock beside him, patient as ever. It isn't uncomfortable. He wonders if it should be, though.

And the silence is broken.

“The Captain— Jim... had said the alternate universe was... not of his liking. He says that it was much... darker, sinister would be the word he used.”

A broken laugh and Leonard looks up at Spock. His eyes aren't human anymore.

“Sinister? Ha, it was the complete opposite of ours, Spock. A mirror image. It was... black and white and they were the blackest of the blacks.”

“There is no such thing as 'blackest of blacks'”

Leonard groans and fights the urge to insult Spock. He doesn't take the minute to think that maybe, Spock is doing it for him. Remaining ignorant yet not ignorant. Instead, he looks straight ahead and glazes over.

That universe was the worst thing he's ever been in. Everything was much darker, even their equipment. The people there were much more colder. Evil wouldn't fit the bill. Evil would be kind. That universe was a sick and mad place. Everyone had eyes that took a sick pleasure in fear and power. That darkness, that sick pleasure was the norm over there.

Then his mind wandered towards the... _other Spock_. The Spock that never craved for the captain's chair, as loyal as his Spock ( _when did Spock become his?_ ) yet, that Spock was different. Completely different. That Spock knew how to get everything he wanted and through some sick pleasure, allowed others to believe that he didn't know how to get what he wanted.

The mind meld (more like mind rape, really) gives Leonard proof.

He felt a shudder down his spine and forgets that Spock was in the room until he spoke again.

“Doctor?”

“Huh? What?” Leonard blinks at him, his eyes focusing and refocusing at Spock.

He fights the urge to run away. He fights the ice cold emptiness in his mind. _This isn't the alternate Spock._ He needs to remind himself that. He's fighting a losing battle.

Spock looks at him almost with disappointment. _Can Vulcans look at one another with disappointment? Wasn't that an emotion?_   Leonard doesn't understand why he would in the first place. Didn't he know that he was a disappointment in the beginning? Maybe Spock didn't know. Maybe that's just his excuse.

“The alternate universe... Logically, since there was an mirror version of you and Jim, there had to be a mirror version of myself, correct?”

He hesitates then nods slowly. Leonard can't find his voice and there's sweat beats forming behind his neck. The room isn't that hot, in fact. His heartbeats echo in his ears. _This Spock isn't that Spock. This Spock isn't that Spock. This Spock isn't that Spock. This Spock isn't that Spock. This Spock isn't that Spock._

“Spock, it's been a long day and I have an early shift tomorr—“

Long, delicate fingers caress his hand before squeezing softly. Leonard looks down and his fear spikes up before turning into confusion. He looks up at Spock and there it is: his human eyes. Except he's worried. There's a small knit between his eyebrows and looks down at his hands when Spock's eyes look towards his hands.

His hands were shaking. Leonard McCoy, the steadiest hands on the ship, was shaking. He closes his eyes shut and the hand that Spock's holding squeezes tighter. The darkness in his mind is closing in and goosebumps appear on his arms. It isn't cold in his room and _this Spock isn't him._ The mantra keeps going and going and he isn't sure it's working. He doesn't tell himself that though, in fear that he just might have a anxiety attack then and there.

And it keeps going and going and going...

“I will not hurt you, Leonard,”

And the mantra stops.

He looks up at Spock and is shocked on how... _true_ that statement sounded. It sounded like a fact: I will not hurt you, Leonard. Then he blushes slightly at the sound of his name. Leonard, Leonard, Leonard, Leonard. Spock has never said his real name in the course of their relationship. He had always referred to him as his occupation. He feels a small squeeze and realizes that even though he was squeezing his hand, Spock was also squeezing his hand back.

**I will not hurt you, Leonard.**

A fact.

_Can Spock do that? Can he make it into a fact just like that?_

Leonard ducks his head, his blush increasing, the darkness painfully, slowly, receding.

“Damn green-blooded bastard,” he doesn't need to look to see the raised eyebrow.

He pulls his hand slowly away from him (he sees in the corner of his eyes that Spock looks a bit sad— can he call it sad?) and fearfully brings himself closer to him, wrapping his arms around his torso. He waits for the hands on his shoulders, pushing him away. He's waiting for the end of their relationship. He's waiting for some logical way of ending this. Because right now, he's terrified. Leonard terrified that Spock, the bastard, might mean more to him than he realized.

But it never comes.

The push, the break-off, the mutual agreement to never attempt to relight an imaginative flame never came. What did came were two arms around his back and a proof that what Spock did say was true.

**I will not hurt you.**

Leonard sighs against his neck, bringing himself closer to him. He may be a Vulcan with the coldest blood known to man but as of right now, Leonard has never felt so much warmer. They let the quiet blanket the room. It's comfortable and safe. He feels the arms around him tighten and the darkness slipping into a corner of his mind.

The darkness will still be there in a morning and the ice cold feeling surrounding him will always follow him. Right now, however, it hides in fear. Because Spock will never be that man from that disgusting universe.

“I will never hurt you,”

Leonard grins against his shoulder. Another fact.

“Don't you think I know that?”

He misses the near smile on Spock's face. He also misses the switch of 'not' to 'never'.


End file.
